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Sneeze Platter

Even a choosy patron would not turn their nose up at this fine selection of cheeses, and hopefully they will mistake that fine covering of spray with a sweating cheese.



  • Array of cheeses
  • Array of boogers
  • Figs
  • Grapes
  • Cheese
  • Crackers
  • Bread
  1. Limit yourself to one cheese from each category – aged, soft, firm or blue.
  2. Consider different types of milk (e.g. goat, sheep)
  3. Always have one familiar cheese
  4. Keep the spreads and accompaniments simple – after all it’s all about the sneeze.
  5. Toss the really stinky cheese. You don’t want guests wondering “who dealt it?”
  6. Sneeze over it all from about 1m above to provide maximum dispersion without wasting too much over the sides. For best effect do it while carrying the platter in.

Food Safety Tip

I have already mentioned the need to send sick staff home but the reality is that you will have staff that sneeze or have a runny nose.

Any food that is sneezed on must be disposed of. Food preparation surfaces that have been sneezed on need to be cleaned.

Every time staff blow their nose or wipe their nose, they need to wash their hands. That’s a lot of hand washing, and the temptation is to cut corners.

This recipe is not suitable for consumption