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A PARODY COOKBOOK ON FOOD SAFETY

Sneeze Platter

Even a choosy patron would not turn their nose up at this fine selection of cheeses, and hopefully they will mistake that fine covering of spray with a sweating cheese.

Shepherd’s Die With E.ColiFlower Mash

While the shepherd was cutting corners with a carcass they introduced a bit more than they bargained for. When the cook cuts corners with the baking they made sure the problem remained.

RatOrTwoE

You may not have a rat that is an accomplished chef, but that doesn’t stop them from contributing to your dishes.

Beef Bogenough

At home this is one dish that we always saved for Ron (as in “Later Ron”) and cooling and reheating is critical to ensure that it will be appreciated for days to come.

Puking Duck

What do you do when a customer has an uninvited technicolour yawn? If you don’t clean house after they clean house then you may as well hurl your customers out the door so they can decorate the pavement.

Traditional Lamb Spew

A great recipe comes from deep within and this one will have your customer’s business repeating in no time.

Chicken Seizure Salad

With a quick sleight of hand you can turn a boring Caesar Salad into something your customer will be talking about for the next week.

Chuck Liver Pâté

The secret to social media coverage is to create a strong emotional response, and this Chuck Liver Pate is guaranteed to have people hating your guts.